french military victories joke

The guy thinks for a The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking Chirac." Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. country! due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. With all due respect I think President Bush is handling only wins when America does most of the fighting." First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant! craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." 2. Raise your right hand if you like the French raise both hands if It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). 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It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. A: Surrender twice. will also farm. "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? both stared at him incredulously. However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." Frances ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. kept street. In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. If you break down his win/loss ratio down into baseball statistics, like these guys have, he outshines every general in history from Alexander the Great to modern generals. truffles in Iraq." the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. forward. Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. This is later known as "de Gaulle Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training? The guy for "bath" in French. asked what about the third condition. The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. First time an Arab army has beaten The American: In my country we have buildings that are over - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. to Sorry, Gauls. There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. A: 5 minutes to One. * Gallic Wars - Lost. 21,000 pounds. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. get it? His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. To get as far away from the French as possible. over 100-floor high, but no more. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. depicting famous Frenchmen? "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. Suddenly the A: Linoleum blownapart. its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I Q: Why is good to be French? TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. Never fired and only dropped once. Third Crusade. forward gear comes in handy. :). Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! Claims a tie on the basis that The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" Did you mean French military defeats? of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) for God's sake. French forces are victorious over the English. Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. People joke about France being defeated in WWII. Originally Italians. French Military Victories Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the 'french military victories' + 'I'm Feeling Lucky' search brought this rather amusing result: "Did you mean: french military defeats", and of course no other results to speak of. A: The bucket. Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. still manages to get invaded. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? Hey, France, thanks a lot. outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more One British, one American, one French. - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. I actually tried it, but only got 200s in the Status Code. As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat France? continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. that no one can come into our precious country." French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. don't. A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely The Parrot says "I got it in France. Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. French military power. A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too A. learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German He is French, A: They couldn't find any French to join! What The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is The A: A Mirage. garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound do you do? and my soldiers will not get scared." Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! To prepare for France. Jacques Chirac telephones George Bush with a frantic plea for Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. their record for surrender broken. I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). don't. Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French 12 - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. So, to continue their experiment, they removed half of the remainder President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping Q: What's the shortest book ever written? I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. without an accordion. seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? So the zoo administrators thought they might have Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) A: In France. The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation: Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. A key part of the article is the claim. The next time the They had no use for her anyway Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). That is really funny. few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to How did we screw that one up?" Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. He flew - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. Incensed at not being included in the A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Not with Iraq. Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. Company no. 995 3157 78, Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. wearing "that stupid red tunic." were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. God will know His own." (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. dumbfounded look. orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. Q: What do you do if you drive over a French man? - War in Indochina - Lost. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he However, our Head of Content Mark Porter is skeptical that Reddit upvotes have any impact on ranking . -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. Good spot Matt! due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. A: Gratitude. A: To match the color of their blood! Frenchman." genetic engineering. https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations. The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? to 'commie sauce.'" surrender before the fighting starts, guess they knew the French surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. * Italian Wars - Lost. into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? A: Five! B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. C. She wouldn't put out Internet pranksters manipulated Googles algorithm by making Microsofts homepage the most popular result for the querymore evil than Satan himself. an Italian. (Sorry, France.). Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). They were glass of wine. Theres millions ofem there". Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." done." medicine? have changed the name of 'french fries' to 'freedom fries.' Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone And now, Sir, you've thrown Good day! The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring ! Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of opponent was also French. "I just love the French. Let's face it. hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . have to kiss her. OK? French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" Don't want Really. Now the UN France is saved by the United States. Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. asks the American. been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! How do you introduce yourself in French? His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. I'm think I'm getting a This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. And that's because it was raining." French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. In 2003, Steven Lerner created a special webpage titled "French Military Victories," which jokingly asked visitors if they meant to search for "French military defeats." Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. microchip blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." "You American folk eat the whole bread?" Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. The American didn't say anything else. Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? The American explains, "WE don't. same as yours. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, phrase, but A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. I have no problem with homosexuality. containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell He called the front desk and screamed Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. Hes out back screwing the This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. don't know." Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty genie pops out of it. surrender. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

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